Keeping it Kind

I recently turned the big Four Oh! As a way of marking this milestone I have decided to perform at least 40 random acts of kindness to spread the love.  I’m going to use this blog to keep you updated and share ways that you can help and support too if you would like to.  My first “Act” involves cake!!! I went for birthday brunch at a fab little local cafe near me on the way to Stratford-Upon-Avon,  OrangeMabel   The food was incredible, service lovely and ambience was right up my street. 40’s/50’s retro with nice big portions and refills on tea!!!  As an initial act I wrote them a stonking good  Tripadvisor review I then contacted some friends about creating a one off choir to sing Christmas carols outside a local care home and around the village. I’m also going to offer free mulled cider and wine to all singers!!  Instead of gifts I asked that people donate to  Macmillan Cancer Support  as this charity has done so much for my brother and his...

Have you ever lost yourself? Been uncertain of who or why you are? I have. It is terrifying. You allow yourself to be pulled and pushed by the tides of life, directionless and drowning. You don’t know if you will ever know yourself again. Maybe your feet will never stand solidly on anything? Teaching is an investment. There should be a donor card when you qualify that lets you know that you are sacrificing heart and soul to the profession. The more you teach, the more you accumulatively give. If you are naturally a generous person without reinforced boundaries then, like an insatiable animal, teaching will take everything. You assimilate. No longer are you The Sportsman, The Musician, The Actress, The Artist, The Best friend, The Clown. Now you are The Teacher. Part of a hive of other teachers all emotionally attached to the profession. This sounds horrific but it’s actually comforting, habitual and consuming. You belong. You have purpose. You have a clear sense of w...

Parva, Magna, Crescunt (My old school motto has never felt more apt) The world rebuilds and repairs in a continuous cycle. The earth heals, discards, adapts and evolves. As a species, humans are adept at adaptation. Our existence has been one fraught with challenge and change. The question that needs to be asked is not IF we will evolve from the recent crisis but HOW. How will we adapt? Will we actively choose the direction of our “reinvention”? Will we be swept along with a tidal wave of power plays? Will we attempt to retain everything we are familiar with and resist the change that is inevitable?  These choices of attitude will shape the future of humanity as we know it. We have an opportunity for renaissance on the horizon. Will we choose to innovate, become chimera-like in our ventures? Or will we let a moment for rebirth pass; maintain the status quo that has been “satisfactory” for most? I have been getting back in touch with nature. I used to love my g...

It is at these times that I have always been taught to “look for the helpers”. When life is truly challenging it brings out the real and varied nature of humans. Our responses are instinctive. They reflect our true selves.   I have seen some appalling behaviour from our species over the past few weeks. People stealing, shoving, fighting, behaving recklessly and inconsiderately. There have been unkind acts and unkind words.  But facing this down has been a tidal wave of goodness. Of people doing the right thing. People choosing to behave with kindness. It has been a great thing to witness.  My neighbourhood has started a Bear Hunt. When the younger children head out for a short circuit of the cup de sac for exercise and sunshine they can try and spot all the Bears that have been placed around people’s houses: in windows, on porches, up trees! They change location daily!  Our parish has created a vulnerable list and people have vol...

I will be honest. My temper has flared slightly during the oppressive anxiety storm surrounding Coronavirus. I have felt tautly on edge.  Until I realised that this helped no one. Not me. Not others.  I decided to look at my options;  A/ I could focus entirely on me. No one would blame me in the current situation. Hide away from the world and pretend it wasn’t happening.  B/ I could panic, indulge the click bate, stock-pile shop and generally add to the chaos  C/ take practical measure to make sur I was ok but also that others were ok too!  I did a bit of A & B before quickly reaching C.  “Coronavirus: What can I do to help?” That was my google search. It came up with some truly common sense advice like “wash your hands”. Well, ok then but seriously HOW CAN I HELP?  I eventually found a page suggesting volunteering, delivering survival packages to those self isolating, setting up digital communications for the elderly who might be lonely once ...

I have thought a lot recently about how things spread. Having lived in China for three years, I have been concerned with the welfare of many friends still out there who are dealing with the impact of the Coronavirus. Checking in with people to see if they had made it back to their home countries during evacuation made me realise just how sparse my connections to them had been previously. It took an international crisis to bring us closer again. This also got me thinking and reminiscing about China, something that has been painful to do for many reasons, but this time it was a positive reflection. I remembered the village I lived in. In the shadow of a huge, sprawling city but still a vibrant, close knit community. Kids would play together outside, parents and grandparents sat on doorsteps or pavements chatting, playing cards. The local park would buzz with villagers walking morning and evening, groups practising kung fu, old men with their song birds and ladies dancing in uni...

People often assume that to be kind means we are “nice”. It is simply not true. One is an action or intent born of genuine care for ourselves and others. The other is a people pleasing approach that can encourage inequality, unfairness and bullying.  Being kind does not mean turning a blind eye to unpleasantness. It does not mean ignoring the damaging actions of individuals or groups.  Being kind can sometimes mean being strongly, firmly in opposition to something. We must make sure though that we are not drawn into nastiness, griping and unkindness by the attitudes and provocation of other people.  This is much easier said than done.  I find the best way is to tackle the behaviour rather than the perpetrators. Rather than: “You are a liar and unpleasant. You do and say horrible things” Instead I approach it as: “Lying is a slippery slope. As is unnecessary unpleasantness. If everyone thought before commenting then the world would be far mor...

I like to think that we all start out with the intention of being kind. We want to make others happy. We desire for the world to be calm and peaceful.  But the habit of thinking and acting with clemency and kindness is a hard one to develop. We are drawn into whinges, into pointing out negatives in lives, in ideas, in others, in ourselves.  I suppose this post could be about many things: forgiving, choosing peace, letting go of grievances. But I like the idea of clemency towards ourselves and others.  Making mistakes is human. Saying the wrong thing, doing the wrong thing.... even believing the wrong thing. All human foibles. The world needs more mercy. I believe seeking to understand rather than seeking to judge is the greatest pathway to happiness. People are rarely cruel or unpleasant as a natural disposition. They have their reasons, journeys and baggage that can make them so.  If someone carrying a suitcase arrived at a station hot, flustered and annoyed would y...