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Showing posts from May, 2019

Kindness from Strangers

In the darkest of times we often look close to hand for kindness and support and many of us are lucky enough to have a strong, dependable network to hold us up. This anchor steadies us and pins us firmly in the here and now. But often the most warmth and buoyancy comes from unexpected quarters; The Kindness of Strangers. Or people who have no vested interest in helping to sooth or support. This kindness is beautifully free of obligation and expectations. The judgement it may or may not carry is lighter for not being so interwoven with previous episodes. I think of this kindness like the painkiller after the op! Your friends and family painfully, methodically stitch you back together, working around old scars, fussing and scolding. The kindness that comes left field from those unconnected is a balm or injection of feel good that lets you rest more peacefully, feel more hopeful and heal without constant fear of reopening those wounds. This is my ode to those strangers who become fr

Thank Goodness

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As teachers we have hundreds of interactions each day. From the smallest nod or wave to lengthy discussions. That’s thousands a week. Millions a month.  Whilst most of these interactions might be nondescript, some may stand out for us. Usually because of an emotional reaction. They made us feel good or bad.  Let’s stop and consider the balance. I’m not great at maths or statistic so I’m sure someone elsewhere can put this into data for us at some point but,as an example, let’s say 5 of our 100 encounters are memorable. One might be that a colleague asked you to do something extra. One might be a student who tells you they’re looking forward to your class. One might be a cheery wave from a lunchtime supervisor. One could be a complaint from a parent. One a disagreement about teaching approaches with another member of staff.  Some good. Some not so.  But let’s just think about the balance here: 95 neutral(ish), 2 positive, 3 not so.  None are Evil. None of these peop

Happy Talk

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It is no wonder that, even as adults, we have learned the art of negative talk. Our media bombards us with constant shock, panic and despair. The body’s natural instincts are on perpetual high alert.  The adrenaline kick from the “flight or fight” reaction can be addictive, prompting us to seek out more drama of the same variety and flavour. Spread it. Replicate.  This is exactly how codependency is formed and it must be unlearned. We do not require such high doses of fear and despondency in our lives. I have no doubt that our emotions and reactions are being manipulated. Some might even say the effects are “divisive”. “Divide and Conquer”. It is easier to catch the weakest of the herd if they are separated. But even without conspiracy theories, negativity might make for larger readership figures but it does not build strong, healthy mindsets.  Perhaps we need a new narrative? Positive press? Not optimistic propaganda. Merely some highlighting of the marvels and wonders

Kind to be kind

Being cruel to be kind. An oxymoron? An excuse for venting? Bullying? A genuine misapprehension? Whatever the motivation behind the act of cruelty the impact resonates for longer than many of us understand. What is simply an aside or casual decision on the part of the perpetrator can be the final knock to a fragile self esteem or the trauma point that reasserts again and again in someone’s life.  I wish I could, with all conscience, say that I have chosen my words and actions so carefully that I have never been cruel, but it is simply not true. I have allowed petty gripes to manifest as damaging comments and my own perceptions to draw poison from my responses.  I have been swept up by the momentum of the great, all enslaving staff room “moan”.  So, it is whilst wearing the cap of a hypocrite that I ask this......  Why is it so hard to be kind in order to be kind?  Why do we need the cruelty? Where does this desire to hurt, impact, belittle come from?  Is