Keeping it Kind

  Can kindness be taught? Or is it inherent behaviour? Are people born to be kind and others born lacking. Studies in child development show that nurture plays as big as, if not greater, role than nature in this debate. Studies into primates suggest that humans are unique in their receipt of reward chemicals upon showing kindness. This may be an evolutionary gain. Perhaps, when we lived in groups, the need to protect & work together led to an instinctive reward when we demonstrated these behaviours. We developed “Human Kindness”. The question is...... is kindness devolving now we are a more fragmented society? The need to protect, share and collaborate has, to an extent, been replaced by a competitive, individualistic society where each person’s needs are prioritised above the greater good. Do we, therefore, need to start teaching kindness? Can we? Most of our learned behaviours come through mimicry and imitation. Babies watch their mothers mouths form sounds, they l

When we are low, panicked, stressed or overwhelmed it is only natural that our focus is drawn back to what is important: us. Our own opinion, our own feelings. Things in life go wrong. Big things, small things. The shift of equilibrium can leave us feeling unsettled and this can provoke responses that are less considered, less kind. So what can we do? How do we curb the reaction that makes us snap or bitch? How do we let go of the surge of anger that fear often ignites? First things first: DON’T - Turn it inwards. Being kind, as I am learning, MUST include kindness towards yourself.  - Repress. It will seep out somehow and if you store it up it will become noxious.  - Excuse it as acceptable by claiming it is something it’s not: a mere joke, a misunderstanding.  - Be frightened or ashamed. No one is kind all the time. Imagine how horrific a person who was ALWAYS nice would be?!?! Gah!  DO - Try and find a suitable outlet. Maybe, if you’re creative, writing