Belief in Kindness




Have you ever lost yourself? Been uncertain of who or why you are? I have. It is terrifying. You allow yourself to be pulled and pushed by the tides of life, directionless and drowning.

You don’t know if you will ever know yourself again. Maybe your feet will never stand solidly on anything?

Teaching is an investment. There should be a donor card when you qualify that lets you know that you are sacrificing heart and soul to the profession.



The more you teach, the more you accumulatively give. If you are naturally a generous person without reinforced boundaries then, like an insatiable animal, teaching will take everything.

You assimilate. No longer are you The Sportsman, The Musician, The Actress, The Artist, The Best friend, The Clown. Now you are The Teacher. Part of a hive of other teachers all emotionally attached to the profession.

This sounds horrific but it’s actually comforting, habitual and consuming. You belong. You have purpose. You have a clear sense of why and who you are.

So when members of the collective hive turn on you with stings in their tail you stick it out and hang on in there. The venom of a few is worth the security of the community.

Too often those who have given so much fall prey to dominant aggressors. Those with an agenda. Those with more ambition than compassion. Some are forced from the hive.

And like solitary bees..... they perish.

I have been that bee. Exhausted from the fight to retain my place in the community, baffled by the aggression of others, hurt by the stings of unfair and unkind words and actions.

I have also been lucky. Other hives have offered me shelter. People have put down the sugar and water of kindness to help me regain my wings. I’m still a little lost. I need to find the right hive and a meadow to buzz in.

It’s frightening looking for a new beginning. Almost more frightening than the vacuum of being nothing and no one.

I have to believe in kindness. I have to believe that most hives work together for the ultimate good. I have to remember to retain a sense of the solitary bee and be wary but also remember the kindness and sustenance of the sugar and water on the way.

I’m scared of starting again....

But my belief in the kindness of others is still strong!


*Huge thanks and a massive “Wow!!! Incredible stuff!” To Rebecca Osbourne for her amazing Donor card illustration!!!!!!

Comments

  1. Unknown28 April 2020 at 19:05

    Lovely stuff, Cate. I cannot sign up for the blog because it tells me I dont have access to Feedburner...boo hoo.
    How do I get around this?

    ReplyDelete

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