Abusing Kindness

https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1w59DJyfp_3_OMaNUu_D5Ra4JsVpMQLam

There is a limit to every good person’s reserves of kindness. Sometimes the kindest people do not set their own value highly enough. They allow themselves to be drained by those who see kindness as weakness. 

This is a conundrum for me. I genuinely believe in being kind in the face of cruelty. I believe the force of kindness is unparalleled in bringing about positive change. 

But I find myself drained. My kindness has been used up by people who wasted it, took more than they needed and squandered it thoughtlessly. I am only human. It hurts to know I have been used unfairly.  

Those who struggle to understand kindness have repeatedly told me to toughen up, wise up and stop giving my kindness away. If only I could. But it is often those who are cruelest who are most in need of kindness. 

So I keep pouring kindness on stony ground. I keep allowing myself to be tapped as a resource. I try to remember that being kind is a strength even when others make me think I’m wrong. 

The sad thing is...... I am toughening up. I find myself cutting myself on a sharp shard of resentment that blocks the flow of kindness. I find myself cynically wondering if I am being taken advantage of. If I should be less open with my generosity and care. I question whether my kindness is truly deserved, valued or used well. 

This bothers me though. Kindness is not something selective. It is something that should be available and offered whenever possible. 

What can I do? How do I freely give kindness, be open and caring but not allow myself to be used? 

I am feeling drained. So when do we need to say “enough is enough! My kindness is precious and worth more. You are taking too much from me!”?! How do we judge when that should be? 

I do not know. 😔

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