Kindness through Choice

I used to wonder if kindness was simply inherent. People were either kind or they weren’t. Then I found myself actively “developing” kindness in myself. Empathy training if you will. I would take a few seconds to consider the impact somethingmight have if I were the recipient. How would I feel? What would the outcome be? I soon realisedthat there is very little gain on either end of an unkind transaction. It might feel like you momentarily gain control or an advantage but, ultimately, you would lose more: the moral high ground, self worth, respect and reputation. It seems slightly mercenary to talk about kindness in economic terms but I realised that, much like most other aspects of human interaction, kindness is a way of validating ourselves and others. It contributes to our purpose and existence. We want to accumulate it. We desire more of it in our lives and we love to distribute it and see the results. Like a currency. And like a currency we can choose how we manage our reserves. We can hord them protectively in the hope that we end up with more than everyone else in the end. We can frivolously splurge in one or two places with a disregard for when, where and why. Or we can be mindful of our kindness. Not ration it. Simply spend it consciously. Bank it responsibly. Where is it needed? Where will it grow and gain interest? Where is it distributed ethically and fairly?

I choose kindness. I ponder where it is best invested. I’m not mean with it and it is always available to any who require access. But I am aware ofits value and importance. 

Thinking like this has allowed me to navigate difficult moments. It has adjusted my reactions to life. I have a different approach to issues such as envy, resentment, conflict and disappointment. I am not so much envious as inspired by the possibilities that the success of others opens up. I letgo of resentment in favour of the acknowledgment of reality and gratitude for the best that I have. I try to manage conflict with compassion and empathy and, whilst disappointment is never an easy thing to wrangle, I try to manage each let down or failure with grace, positivity and kindness towards myself and others. Incredibly, I have watched my kindness ISA’s swell in value. I have enjoyed wonderful, warm and inspiring kindness markets like Cambridge Education Festival and have liberally donated and spent my kindness in the best of ways on the best of people. I have chosen kindness. And in return.... it has chosen me.